Love, Loss and Learning the Price of Love

The Price of Love
Stars in the Heavens

Love, Loss and Learning the Price of Love

The other morning, I sat outside in the dark enjoying my coffee. What an amazingly beautiful morning. After days of humidity, rain and cloud cover, the crisp air and clear skies were welcome. The stars and planets were brilliant, and I was in complete awe with the beauty of the universe and life.

It has been a journey, these past several years.

As I sat under the stars and reflected on life and loss and love, I was moved to such tremendous gratitude. There have been days I have shed happy tears, but today I sat with the gratitude and my heart just swelled with joy and peace.

Not only did I reflect on the beauty in front of me, I reflected on a quote I heard the other day.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

I thought this was the perfect quote for my series on Love and Loss.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

It sounds so simple, but it is so profound.

The losses I – and others – have sustained throughout life, have been huge. Devastating, if I am being honest.

Which I am.

We can all remember where we were when our worlds stopped turning during the most painful times of our lives.

We can remember the minute we were blindsided by the pain of death, deception, disappointment, diagnosis – you name it.

Those kinds of pains are enough for us to shut down our hearts to protect ourselves from additional pain and loss.

And just a few mornings after that moment of clarity and peace under the stars, news came of another impending loss.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Now it felt like that price was too much to bear.

A dear friend invited me to take a break from it all and go to a nature preserve. It was a beautiful day, and getting out in nature was good for my soul.

There were twists and turns along the way. There were forks in the road – which way do we go? I was intrigued by the bridges, and what would be on the other side. There was trepidation in the choices, but then there was a feeling of joy getting to the other side.

Price of Love
Getting to the other side.

It was a perfect metaphor to the price of grief. What will be on the other side of this pain? What will life look like, especially knowing it will be upended again?

The cliché of, “The only constant in life is change,” couldn’t be truer. Our expectations, which I wrote about previously, can keep us trapped. We do all we can to keep from feeling pain – and when we do, I personally believe we seal ourselves off from experiencing life to the fullest.

Obviously, I can understand why we do this. Again, who wants to feel the profound pain of loss?

Just as I remember the days of being blindsided by devastating loss, I remember one day when I made a life-changing choice. I am not going to say it was easy, but it sure has made my life much richer and more fulfilling.

As I was processing all the changes and challenges in my life, I remembered what I had learned in my healing journey – we can experience joy and grief at the same time. We can experience happiness and sadness at the same time.

So, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and decided to make an intention that absolutely terrified and excited me at the same time.

Not much different than being afraid to cross a bridge over rushing water.

Price of Love

I chose to open my heart and mind to new experiences. To put myself back in the game of life.

Throughout my life, I tried to protect myself from the pain of loss. I can certainly pinpoint the reasons why I needed to protect myself.

But what I realized is that no matter what I did to protect myself, I was still going to face difficult times. Life was going to happen.

In my decades on this earth, I have the scars on my body to prove I have lived. The pain that formed those scars has passed, but occasionally, the scars get pinged, and it really smarts. Yet, the recovery is much quicker than the original wounds that created the scars.

That is no different than the emotional scars on my heart. When I chose to open my heart to living life to its fullest, I knew that old scars could get pinged, but I knew the recovery time would be less than the original pain inflicted.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

I chose to move forward with love and an open heart. Love for me. Love for those around me.

Opening my heart again could set me up for feeling loss and grief.

Grief doesn’t necessarily mean death or “bad things,” it can also be the pain of change. Even a good change can bring up the feelings of loss of whatever we leave behind. There is also guilt when we move forward. How many times have we heard, “So-and-so wouldn’t want you to be stuck grieving them,” which I believe is true.

Yet, we can’t move through our grief that way. We need to choose to move through it for ourselves. We can declare, “Yep – that sucked, but I can’t live here anymore,” and choose to move forward. Even if our survivor’s guilt tries to stop us.

That life-changing day when I opened my heart and mind to all possibilities, I chose to love me and my life – flaws and all in both areas. I could sit and pick myself and my life apart – and truthfully, some days I still want to go down that rabbit hole. Yet – wow – the world is so much brighter and beautiful – even on the darkest of days, when my mind and heart are open. It’s no different than seeing the sun after a storm.

Grief is the price we pay for love – no different than waking up to a beautiful morning after days of storms and rain. The appreciation of life after the storms – metaphorically and physically – is the reward. How do we appreciate a stunning sunrise or a vibrant rainbow if we don’t experience the darkness that brought these wonders? How do we experience the joy of life until we open our hearts after the storms?

Price of love
A “Sarah Sunset.”

Given the choice, I will choose the price of grief. Yes, it is ridiculously expensive. But wow – it is worth every penny when, after the darkness passes, I can sit back and breath in gratitude for the life and love that is there. Even if it feels like the storm will never pass.

Life is a gift. We aren’t promised a tomorrow. Enjoy the present. Love deeply. And eat the cake.

Much love,

Love and Loss

 

 

 

 

© Lynne – 2024

One Reply to “Love, Loss and Learning the Price of Love”

  1. I enjoyed reading your post. There are so many truths here. I’m happy that you are feeling the beauty around you, after all you’ve been through. You deserve some happiness in your life. I especially like your point about having to experience the storms in order to appreciate the sunlight and rainbows.
    Life would really be empty if we didn’t experience love for the sake of feeling the pain if we lost it. Keep up the writing and your art!

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